How often do you pray? How often do
you feel like you need to hit the reset button on your life? I know for me it's
at least once or twice a month. Lately I‘ve found myself growing tired of the
same routines. You know the same shit. Literally the same sequence of daily
events. I wake up, get in my car, hit 695 and pray it's not backed up and then
hustle into work to "clock in" on time spending my day talking to
rude and sometimes idiotic adults who literally make me want to scream and
break every computer in the office. I literally have done a year of that and
then decided enough was enough. Around mid-March I started to feel an
overwhelming sense of being stuck. I felt stuck in my finances, my career and
just my overall focus. My mom had been telling me for about 2 years I needed to
fast and re-connect with God and I thought to myself I'm already connected with
God, I pray every day and thank him but that's just the tip of the iceberg when
it comes to a relationship with God. I then decided to start a 2 week fast on
April 1st only eating seafood, fresh fruits and veggies, and water. I
had no processed food and cut out smoking, drinking, sex, and social media. Now
I don't want to make this sound to "preachy" or anything but this is
how my spiritual journey over the month of April went.
So leading up to the fast I did a ton
of research on what to expect and the overall process of fasting. I wasn't
fasting for weight loss or anything I just wanted to strengthen my relationship
with God and ask for clarity over my path in life. On April 1st I started the
fast and it was fairly easy that day, I was so focused on reading my bible and
listening to Joel Olsten podcast I wasn't thinking about food. But girl those
next 4 days.....chillle, they were not pretty! I had body aches, I felt weak,
nauseated and even delirious. Unfortunately I only lasted 5 days and then ended
up eating an apple, the irony of me eating an apple to break my fast (word to Adam
and Eve...lol). I was super down on myself and felt like I had let God and
myself down...but here's the kicker!
So in the beginning of March I applied
for an assistant styling position for an e-commerce/digital media company in
Baltimore and had yet to hear back from them. So randomly one day I decided to
call the HR manager just to check the status of my application. I didn't get a
call back from her for about a week and I low key forgot about it. One morning
while I was driving I got a call from an unknown number and it was the HR
manager. She said that they had already filled the position but were looking
for a freelance stylist for a huge project they had a deadline on. I was soooo
excited! I couldn’t believe I had the chance to assist on an actual set! I
ended up freelancing with them for a week and it was to say the least one of
the most amazing experiences of my life. There was so much pressure and so many
things going on at once. I had to have attention to every little detail and
endurance because they didn’t believe in breaks or resting. With all that being
said I LOVED it. It was exactly what I want to do with my life, it felt surreal
in a sense. I'm now at a point where I
have to actually choose what I want to do, well really it's a no brainier but
it's a move I have to make strategically and from a business perspective.
I say all of that to say how blessed
and happy I am now. I mean I was always blessed but that short fast showed me
just how REAL God is. Even after I broke my fast I still stayed focused on God
and how gracious he has been. I started to become thankful for my job (even though
it's not what I want to do) and I started to recognize my gifts I've been
blessed with. It showed how happy God was and how much he loved me just for seeking
his power and love. I'm so happy I took some time off to re-focus my spirit and
outlook on life. I know the hard things have yet to come but with a strong
foundation in God and my amazing support system I'll be fine. If you’re feeling
overwhelmed I suggest finding time for stillness and meditation. If it's God,
Allah or whoever just take time to connect to something higher. Believe me it
makes all the difference. Be inspired everyone!
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